Today the weather is almost exactly like the day of my surgery last year on September 15th but today I am able to thoroughly enjoy the day. I remember that morning so clearly. My husband was with me and every time he looked at me while I waited my turn I felt like crying. His eyes were reflecting my worry. I felt worried and sad that my face would forever look different, and knowing that when he would gaze upon my cheeks in the future, it wouldn't be the face he fell in love with. He has been so wonderful about the entire thing and all along he has said it doesn't make a bit of difference to him.
That is what I remember most about the morning of my surgery, and also the moment I awoke from anesthesia. I could hear the nurses talking and the first image in my mind was that of our pony's little round buttocks. What a silly thing to think about! It made me smile. Then I got ready to go home, they gave me some ice to hold on my cheek, and I was seeing double all the way home. Probably due to the proximity of the surgery to my eye. I was just glad it was over. The healing felt slow but looking back now, I can see a continuation of progressive healing. And it's still getting better each day.
I had my 'one year' appointment Monday with the plastic surgeon. He was pleased with how much better it looked since last time and said he doesn't know why it's taking so long to settle and soften, but in 6 months he will see me again. At that time the ridge of thick scar tissue closest to my nose may be softened enough to excise as a scar revision procedure. Too soon to do that now because it could just scar more. My hope is that in 6 months it will just be soft and faded enough that I won't feel the need for any additional cutting or "revisions."
So this is what that once-horrible thing looks like after one year...and it is certainly better than having cancer.